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Im still not sure what I want, but I can tell that its not what most people have.  Maybe I’m just confused. Some people have told me im lost. I know that.  Where am i supposed to be going? I know that I’m not ready to die yet. I know that I dont feel like I’ve properly lived yet. But I’m not sure what that means. I see people living every day. I see them living in condos and high rises.  They live in offices. They live under bridges and in back alleys. Is that what living feels like? I dont want to feel like that.  I am passionately seeking something else and yet I am not quite certain what it is. And I’m worried that I might have missed it.

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There are these sporadic moments such as tonight: where everything feels right and everything is as it should be. It is a shame, because our frugal intelligence could not willingly grasp the idea that such a grand design would invest its time into something more lasting and appropriate. But this is the strange condition of life: if we fully understood the entirety of it than we would no longer have to do it. We could then move onto something better. 
I refer you to the words of one of my personal heros:

“Death is freedom, life is a lesson” – Johnny Kennedy

Please be aware that this post is not a matter of any specific religion, because as it is true that the most spirtual man in the universe will eventually be overpowered,  and the strongest man will eventually be outsmarted, there can be little argument pleasures of the mind vs pleasures of the flesh. Why should it be that we can not indulge in one without punishment from the other?!

So I urge that you appreciate everything you have as you have it and think no more of such things. The knowledge you are bestowed is merely the knowledge you deserve. Leave the higher thinking to any higher power that you choose to believe and if there is none on your conscious than rejoice in those reprieves even more so!

These earthly delights that you enjoy – as they are so few are so far between – If not a gift, they must at least be the grandest coincidence and worthy of such exploration.

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