I admit that it is unfortunate how fond I am of my own melancholy.

I was sitting on a curb behind the bar with my head down looking at the vomit on my boots. I’m sure there is loud music, and frantic voices coming from the corner store just a bit down the road, but I can hardly hear a thing. There’s is only a menacing howl echoing from deep inside my chest. It’s enough to rattle the entire Earth and light the sky on fire. But all else is utter silence.
I noticed a small crack in the pavement next to my right boot and if I could somehow wedge my fingers down into it, I felt strong enough to crack the entire fucking planet open and crawl down inside.
But one should never convey these things because desperation is a parasite that chokes every bit of sensibility out of its host. And the howling in my chest is the most comforting thing I can fathom. Oh, my meloncholly…..how it lulls my spirit and keeps me aloft In such a strange universe.
Up until now, the most filthy things emitted from my mouth but, suddenly, the most beautiful songs start to play from my lungs. It’s evident that you simply cannot take what isn’t there and I have nothing to offer this city. This state. This country. I feel as if the whole world is constantly prying at my body and my ego as if it was a bomb. But I can only show them only an empty, old suitcase. And all I can do now is speak the most wonderful words and become light as air.

It is the softness of my melancholy that keeps me afloat and lays my body down on tall hills and rooftops. It keeps it’s teeth sunk to my neck and drags me away from this madness by the scruff. Away from the police lights and questions. Away from the humiliation and vomit on my boots. Down into the cracked Earth to lick my wounds. So warm and lovely. I admit that I am quite fond of my melancholy, as it is my most exciting and dangerous lover. And isn’t life so tragically boring? We are so naturally drawn to the worst things. The people that are bad for us. The shitty fried food and the drugs. The back alleys and moonlight. All the worst things in life feel so endearing. So rare and exciting. Meloncholly drags me my home and floods my body with lust and content and the howling in my chest soothes me to the core.