I dislike looking people in the eyes.
Eyes are the organ directly responsible for receiving and producting honesty. Like when someone finnally “sees” the truth. Or when people are ignorant or naive, we say that they are “asleep” because their eyes are seemingly shut. Or when you desperately want someone to realize (real eyes) something, you shout out frantically, “open your eyes! Cant you “see” what’s really going on here?!”
The most important thing is that eyes are entirely incapable of keeping secrets. They say much more than lips do and sometimes when you catch someones eye, even on the first encounter, you can already see that they are hurting you. Or that they are hurting someone. Even if that someone is themselves.
Anyways, today is the first day of winter and I know this no matter what. I know today is the first day of winter because I woke up with that feeling on my skin and in my head and I never want to let it go. There are far less eyes in winter and I feel like no one is watching. Its the most soothing comfortable feeling I can imagine and it makes me feel like I am in love.
I can wear ill-fitting jackets and my spirit jumps from roof to roof and I don’t have those eyes on me like a million anchors. Most of the year, each gaze feels like a sad story and my body is a bookshelf. Each stare, every look, and every glance fills my limbs with stories like shelves and makes me heavy as a boulder and drags me down towards the center of the earth. But not today. Not in winter. In winter I am in love, and love is blind, and I am light as air.